God. I'm dying.
Less dramatically, I'm crumbling.
Pieces of myself that built my foundation are slowly peeling off. Chunks eroding off.
I say it like it's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
I'm divorcing you.
What's funny is that the only cause of divorce is selfishness.
Well. Mostly.
I mean, think about every situation that leads to a divorce. You'll hear someone say; "I wanted". The times when the one you love cheats (because of selfishness) isn't always one sided. Maybe you are driving the person to entrust someone else with their love. Are you letting them love you?
Ha. Im not the selfish one.
Right?
I mean.. My side's completely understandable.
It's so hypocritical.
My God, your love has done everything for me. Our friendship was the thing i looked forward to. What happened? You just didn't hold up your end did you? They said you would. And yet all you give me is a simple promise and a subtle feel. Now there's nothing.
I used to look at people like who i am now, and think "Don't they know God is challenging you? Don't they know that the trust you need to have for faith is one of the most beautiful bonds with God? Why can't they remember when they felt him? Like i do."
I've become a fucking Israelite.
How ignorant.
You know what? Who cares.
Man, i'm just done. I'm going to go fuck up my life for my own desires.
Maybe it will end up being wonderful? Yeah. I'd like that.
naaa. Im becoming way to dramatic.
Im just gonna be chill and do what i want.
I don't need a deity.
It's just a fire inside, i'll simply direct it elsewhere.
Just remember, someone always loves you for you.
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